Understanding Me

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Understanding Me

Me,

I am a women who love life. I am a women who will do almost anything for my children to have (not illegal stuff). I am a women who love children and family. I love too hard at times. If you are not understand what that means then you never LOVE before.

My days are easy when I can look at my children and see them smile. I am a women who suffer from depression. YES, DEPRESSION! Depression is not a game or to be taking lightly. It will allow you to think unhappy and feel unhappy all of the time. It will even make you feel unwanted. It is a hard task to fight alone. Even sometime you may feel as if you do not need help, YES YOU DO!!

If you feel stressed please find someone to talk to about your feeling. If you have children learn the signs of depression if not sad to say you may find you child in the worst way (dead).

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For example:

February 17, 2013 is a day I will never for get. Me, my husband and my daughter was sitting in the living room watching TV. My son came running in the house like always. At first I didn’t think anything was wrong. Until I began to here him moving things around in his room.  My stomach began to feel funny. so I went to his door and tried to open it and couldn’t. I call my husband and daughter to come and open the door for me please something is not right. When they got the door open just enough for me to see inside.

MY GOD, MY GOD GET THIS DOOR OPEN NOW!

Was all I could say!

My son had a hand full of pills taking them. He said he can not take it anymore, he just wanted to die and it would all be over. He was being BULLIED my the little boy down the street.  My son told me mommy I love you but if I got to live life like this I no long want to live.  All I could do was cry.

My daughter call 911 for me while I try to take the pills away from him. It was a hard task but I did it!

I DID IT!    

I had to get him some help. No mother or father should have to go through this with there children or any other love ones. I still to this day worry about this and wonder if I am going to walk in the house and find one of my children dead.

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My life is a book that I am ready to write about and I hope someone would understand it. I had to learn “you are not the only one in the world having problems and you are not the only one depressed”.

No matter what hand life deal you someone else has it worst. You just have to believe it will get better before it get worst. I suffer everyday with bills like any other person. Living on Disability is so stressful, when you had two jobs before getting sick. I stress about not having a job other that my online store. If no one buy anything I can’t help pay my bills. Then someone gave me a idea of opening a online store (http://www.fashioncenter.net). I did that with money I did not have to spare. I just can not understand the hand I was dealt. All I every wanted was to own my own house and be a great mother to my children. All I got was being a great mother to my children. I will be 40 years old this year and still can get my own home. I am so tired of renting  from people that don’t want to fix anything. Like now we have no proper heat in this house but we a a place to live. just pray we make it through this winter storm. I will keep you all posted on our health. (RAIN AND SNOW)

Love you guys   

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9 Comments

  1. So glad your son is doing better. We are all here to help, uplift, and support each other. We are all in this together. Everyone is experiencing some kind of issue in their lives. We just have to keep the faith and stay strong. Prayers for you and your dear family. ~dp

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