These pass few days has been a clip from a movie. Thanksgiving night was the worst night of my life.

When a mother phone ring 3 am and she is scared to answer it because all of her children is NOT home. The person on the other in is telling her that her child was rushed to the HOSPITAL. Then they are not sure which one or where.

You are not sure on what to do or which where to go a that moment. So you began to ask what happen and why. Then she began to tell the mother her child was stabbed 4 times and they don’t know if he going to make it.

Remember this not my child biologically But he is a part of me and my family. He live with me! The look in my husband eyes at this point I just can not explain It. This is his baby boy! Those tears coming down his face, OH MY GOD THOSE TEARS!!

When I was on my way to the hospital, I was lost didn’t know where to go which hospital he was in couldn’t get in touch with his mother at this point I had to do something very stupid. I just told everyone that I got to get pulled over to find him. I need help! So I got to this town where I seen a police car. I began to speed up! I was doing a 65 in a 35 just to get help. When I knew he got my speed before he could pull me over. I stopped beside him. He said, do you know how fast you was going? I said no, I need you to help me find my son please. He then asked me to pull in front of him. At this point I didn’t care about  all I want was to find him. to make a long story short, we found him!

Finding him was great, seeing him was not. When you see your child lifeless and helpless at the same time….WOW! The words that you will say! All I asked the doctors was to save my child life and walked out. Still waiting on his mother to come!

(Just to let you know he is doing okay and he is home! He can’t walk with out help but he is ALIVE and HOME!)

The sad part of all of this is how family will turn there back on you when you are at your lowest point. So-Called Friends will walk away as well! I have learned you never bite the hand that feed you! It took me a while to learn how to forgive a person for hurting me.I know that is a hard part of most people life. Learning to forgive people is easier said than done…….



That moment when you want to cry but you can’t. Out of all you tears there seems to be none left.

When people is around you whom you care about and you just don’t want to bothered. So you just smile to keep from crying in front of them.

When the pain is so deep no one would understand how much you are hurting inside. No matter how hard you try not to show your pain it just shows. 

But, I HATE when people say they know how you feel or going through and they never experience it.

I look around my small town and see all the people leaving this world so fast. It is so unreal at times. Kids killing each other for a set. Don’t make any since at all. Life is so precious! All these mother’s and fathers cry over there child body. WHY??? Kids young as 7 getting high.Talking to there parents like dogs. What happen to the GRANDMOTHERS from the OLD SCHOOL? Mothers and father under 30 are grand parents now. This WORLD is truly messed up. People just need to wake up fast. Stop taking life for granted. 

I’m just thinking out LOUD…….


Living the life….

When you can say I’m done with all the negative people.

When you can say I made it.

When nothing matters but YOU! 

When life feels like you are on top of the world.

That’s when you tell GOD THANKS. You give him the glory. Without him covering you and giving you what you have, you wouldn’t have all you have now.

That moment when you done all you can and nothing feels like it will change.

That moment when you just say forget it all you are done.

That moment when you feel like it is you against the world.

That moment when you feel like hurting someone so badly but don’t.

That moment when you see people for who they really are.

That moment when you see you don’t have any friends (by choice).

That moment when you DON’T TRUST NO ONE.

That moment when you forget how to love a person.

That moment when all you feel is HATE.




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The Truth Will SHOCK You!

Adam Folker is the guy who created Vert Shock, already in high school Adam made a name for himself when he was selected as one of the top 5 high school basketball players in Canada. After that he played Division-I basketball in the NCAA for UC Irvine, and now he’s playing professional basketball player overseas.


But Adam wasn’t always a great athlete, he actually confessed that in his youth he could barely touch the rim (a lot like me) and that he wasn’t at all an athletic guy, which is quite a statement for a UC Irvine center that’s actually trained NBA players to dunk. When I heard that, I knew anything he had to say about vertical jumping would at least prove to be helpful to me.

Justin Darlington aka ‘Jus Fly’ is one of the world sickest dunkers. It’s estimated that his vertical is 53 inches and he has used it to make himself a name by traveling the world winning some serious big boy dunk contests, including the Nike Dunk Contest with King James and Anthony Davis, Kobe Bryant, ect…… Click Here!

So without further ado, Phil, the stage is yours… Click Here!

Here’s a video that explains in more detail how the program works: Click Here!  





Feeling very unhappy today, not understanding why my life turned out to become so cold. People around you seems to be hiding or running from there true pain inside. How must I learn that. Questions we all ask our-self daily but never get the answer to…..WHY???

Allowing yourself to not understand your own true feelings. Hiding behind a book where you write down all of your deep thoughts and ideas. Knowing they will never be read by anyone.

Looking for freedom in your life when you are already free. What are you hiding or running from. Scared to speak up! Fear of people not liking you! WHY? Why must you feel this way?

Opening up your heart to someone that do even like you or care if you are there. Sharing your body with a man or women that don’t even want you in there life. Only want you there for sex, financial gain or just to say you belong to them.

Living that life where you want out of something but scared to trust yourself an leave. Scared to move on and trust yourself. WHY? Why must you feel this way?


Choosing a man or women over your kids, WHY? Knowing your child is your FIRST LOVE and TRUE LOVE!

Allowing someone to brake your heart over and over again.WHY? Why must we do that? What and how can I get out of this? am I able to handle things on my own? YES, WE CAN! Starting over is a fear we all have, learning to be on your own all over again feels scary. Then you have that choice of dealing with it or moving on with out it!

No matter what troubles you, there is always someone else having it harder than you. When you cut your lights on in your house,someone else can’t. When you have food to eat, someone else don’t. When you can drive to work, someone else don’t have a car. Some may not have a job to go too.

Passing judgement on to others is a weakness. You are showing gilt, pain and fear of something. If you don’t have the heart to stay positive, just stay away from that person. Your judgment can cause that person to take there life. Your judgement is like being a BULLY! I personally hate BULLIES!


If you never had feelings go see a doctor because you have a mental issue that is in GREAT NEED OF HELP! You really have a MENTAL ISSUE! I’m not trying to call anyone out on there mental state of mind. But it is what it is….. NO I DO NOT HAVE A PHD. I AM JUST SAYING!!!! GET HELP!!